"I don't know": the essence of being human before a sovereign God

Just recently, the community of Buffalo experienced a great tragedy when passenger flight 3407 crashed and killed all 51 passengers and crew on board. It was a shock to the community and called forth a response from the community of faith in the Buffalo area to help the affected families and the community at large in coping with such a great loss.

In our church, our pastor spoke from the book of Job and gave maybe one of the best messages that I have ever heard on why tragedy happens even though we believe that God is ultimately sovereign. Among many different points that Jerry covered, one of them is that we don't know why God allows tragedy. We know that for true love to exist, that choice must also exist which opens the door to risk, but ultimately we don't know why God allows one plane to miraculously land in the Hudson River and another to crash just 8 miles from the airport.

As I have wrestled with all of this, I came to the conclusion that being forced to say "I don't know" is ultimately what makes us human before God. It is one of the many things that makes God "other" or "holy". It is what makes God a mystery and it forces us to have a childlike faith in a God that we don't always understand but allows us to trust a Father who's character is always good.

Somewhere in the past century, "I don't know" somehow became an unacceptable answer especially in the intellectual and even theological community. It has caused theologians to feel the need to force interpretations of seemingly contradicting scriptures through the grid of their preferred theology to create interpretations that really don't explain what the scripture is saying in it's context. Having to know, eventually causes one to have to choose a side, which in turn leads to finding others who are on your side, and next thing you know you are the "Second (enter denominational name) Church" that is just across the corner of the same intersection from the "First (same denominational name) Church" because you decided that you couldn't agree on every theological issue that the Southern/Central/Reformed/ (same denom. name) Denomination believes which happens to be the denomination of the "First (same denom. name) Church"

But maybe it's not such a new problem. As I have read the book of Job, I see Job's friends doing the same thing. They get angry at Job because he refuses to acknowledge that his troubles are a result of God punishing his sin. The reason that this angers them is because it completely flies in the face of the common theology of their day that basically stated, "if you are prospering then you are living righteously and you have God's blessing, if you are experiencing hardship, then you are living in sin and you have God's hand against you." So if Job does not admit that their is sin in his life, the Job's friends will have to reckon with the fact that their understanding of who God is may not be correct.

To go back even further, I think one of the enticements that Satan offered to Adam and Eve was that by eating of the forbidden fruit, they could "know" the things that God knows. They wouldn't have to stay in the dark regarding the ways of God and could be like Him in "knowing".

I think there is a great place of comfort in being able to say "I don't know". It is a reminder that He is One who is totally other than me. He is mysterious and He is far more brilliant than I will ever comprehend but He is infinitely good. And as I rest in that goodness, I can say with full assurance and confidence that "I don't know".

"Lost" without my "Friends"

A couple of nights ago, as I was watching T.V., I came to the profound revelation that I am truly pathetic. I realized that I had gotten excited about getting to come home and spend a couple of hours in front a screen where I would allow myself to get emotionally invested in the lives of several fictional characters, living in a fictional world, while working through fictional circumstances. It really is sad. My wife and I's two favorite shows are Lost and Heroes and the more I think about it, the more ridiculous it becomes. At that moment, I realized that I truly care about people that don't even exist and I invest a significant part of my time keeping up with their fictional lives. How sad is that!
It reminds me of another revelation I had several years ago when the show Friends went off the air. I felt like I had lost some of my closest friends when that show went off the air. It was so hard to say goodbye to Joey and Ross and Rachel and Chandler and Monica and Phoebe (and I can't believe I can still so easily reel off all of these fictional character's names). It made me realize how sad it was that I could actually experience grief over a bunch of people that didn't even exist.
It truly is sad....very sad indeed.

Isaac Watts...disgruntled songwriter?

I am a worship leader at my church but I am also a songwriter. In my pursuit to grow as a songwriter, I have heard many different takes on how great songs originate and even opinions on how they should originate. Many of these opinions, at times, have caused me to almost stop writing songs altogether because I feel like I don't have the perfect storm of life altering spiritual revelations and earth shaking quiet times to write a useful worship song.
Today, I read an account of how one of the great songwriters of the church, Isaac Watts who wrote classics such as Joy To World, Oh God Our Help In Ages Past, When I Survey The Wondrous Cross, and many others, started his journey as a songwriter.

"One Sunday after returning from a service of this type of Psalm singing
and
being deeply concerned and critical of congregational singing, young Isaac
was challenged by his father with the words, 'Well then, young man, why
don't you give us something better to sing?'" (101 More Hymns Stories
by Kenneth W. Osbeck, p. 168)

The story goes on to say that for the next two years, Watts wrote a song a week for his church to sing.

I have to be honest, that story is very liberating. Watts started writing because he was tired of singing the same ole stuff and was concerned that the congregation was feeling the same way and so he started writing new songs.

I don't think his process was any less Spirit guided than the guy who writes a song that springs out of an incredible encounter with God's presence in a quiet time or life changing worship experience. Both have a motive of serving the bride of Christ, the church and I believe that God honors and annoints both types of songs.

I don't know if I'll be able to write a song a week but I will definitely feel a lot more free to write songs without wondering if my process is "spiritual enough".

"Its just a part of the business" and other excuses that cheaters use

If you watch the news at all, you've probably seen all of the controversy about Alex Rodriguez's (N.Y. Yankees baseball player) confession of his use of performance enhancing drugs during his time with the Texas Rangers. Because of this, many are wondering if Rodriguez or A-Rod will be disqualified from ever being in the Hall of Fame and there is much talk about how all of his accomplishments are now tainted.

The thing that baffles me most about all of this is the unbelievable amount of hypocrisy on display. How many people in our country cheat on their taxes? How many husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? How many business men and women use little bits of deceit here and there to get ahead? How many construction contractors overestimate the amount and price of needed materials so that they can keep a little for themselves to take to the next job? How many negotiators start with a much higher price so that they can "negotiate" down to the price that is still above and beyond what they need? The amazing thing is that many of these deceptions and shortcuts are just viewed as "a part of the business" or it's "just the way things are". I think that Alex Rodriguez was just using the same logic that everyone else was and is.

I'm not in, any way, justifying what Alex Rodriquez did. I think, more than anything, I'm just shocked at how we as a society have normalized cheating and deception and the persecution of Rodriguez just makes it more noticeable. I think we all have to stop and look at our daily decision making and let the Spirit of God show us the compromises that we have made in the name of "doing business" or "it's just the way it is"..

Inheriting The Golden Touch

I will be honest, there have been times where I have wondered if there is something in my family's spiritual lineage that keeps us from ever having wealth. (Even as I write those words, I realize that they are laced with entitlement and discontentment but I want to proceed with this line of thinking because it might take me somewhere redemptive). I watch people around me who appear to have the "golden touch" as they invest and manage money effortlessly. They just seem to have the favor of God on their finances. In some of my lesser moments, I have wondered why I don't see that kind of favor in my life (again, I hear the discontentment oozing out of that statement as I write it) and have wondered if we Cowarts are just not meant to have the golden touch in this lifetime. But even as ungrateful as that thought is, God used it to shed a little light on my families spiritual heritage as I was reading this morning.

I have been reading a little book by Randy Alcorn called "The Treasure Principle" and as I was reading it made me think about my grandfather. In the book, Alcorn talks about the concept of sending it ahead where one gives money away (to the poor, to the church, etc.) in faith that you are actually storing away treasures in heaven. This is not a new thought to me but it came into a new light when I began to think of my grandfather M.A. Cowart or "PawPaw". Pawpaw has been dirt poor (by U.S. standards) for his entire life. He was forced to work in a C.C. camp as a teenager to help feed his family so he was never able to get more than a middleschool education. Throughout Pawpaw's life, he worked labor related jobs and worked very hard just to have the basic provisions for his family and himself (and often times, forced to choose in that order).

But here's the great irony of Pawpaw's life. He gave money away as if he were a millionaire. During the time of his funeral, I remember hearing story after story of people that he had bought groceries for or bailed out in a pinch when he barely had enough to take care of his own family and he would often do this by leaving envelopes in the foyer of his church with the person's name on it that he was helping so that he could remain anonymous. I also know that he was completely faithful when it came to giving to his church. During the last few weeks of Pawpaw's life he said on many different occasions, "I'm prayed up, I'm paid up, and ready to go!" and you knew by his life that he wasn't just talking "church talk".

As I think about Papaw's life, I realize that Papaw did have the "golden touch" when it comes to investments and money management. He just understood the value of investments that are long term (and by that I mean forever) and high yield verses investments that are short term with low yield. As I look at my grandfather's investing practices through an eternal value system, I realize that my Papaw was a genius when it came to finances. His diligent investments have paid off and now he will be able to enjoy the wealth that he has acquired forever. I hope that I can inherit even a fraction of his fiscal common sense and be one more Cowart that has the "golden touch".

Missing The Mark

I was listening to a preacher on the radio and he was talking about the word "sin" and it's actual translation. He said "sin" in it's original context was an archery term that simply meant that you missed the mark or missed the bullseye. This explanation is not new to me but it began to take on a different meaning when I began to think about it in the terms of an archery tournament.

Let's say you were in a tournament where you simply had to hit the bullseye in order to advance to the next round. The guy who goes before you misses the target, the bail of hay that the target is mounted on, and sends the arrow flying off into empty space. You confidently step up to take your shot and your arrow takes a beautiful flight only missing the mark by a centimeter. If this was a competition of comparison, you just won it hands down. You are clearly the better marksman. Here's the problem, it is not a competition of comparison, it is a competition of qualification. Regardless of whether you are a better marksman than the other guy, you are still not good enough to advance to the next round. You could appeal to the judge as much as you want and argue about how bad the other guy's shot was and it would make no difference. You did not hit the mark and so you are not qualified to go to the next round.

God says in his word to us that "all have sinned (missed the mark) and fallen short of the glory of God". Maybe the reason that the self-righteous have such a hard time understanding their need for the grace of God is that they still believe that they are in a competition of comparison.