Prime

I am 35 years old. Even as I write it, it doesn't fit me. I guess I have actually now lived on the earth for 35 years but it's all of the unspoken implications of being 35 that don't fit me. Inside, I am still a young man with many "I'm gonna do/be that someday"'s on the table. It doesn't feel natural to realize that there are some things that, more than likely, I am never going to be or do. I am in the prime of my life and strangely enough, there is a sadness to it.

I guess that's one of the greatest trajedies of the fall. Our "prime" is a very short lived window of time. It is a time where we have to narrow down the "do/be's" of our lives down to one or two things so that we have the time to be excellent at at least one thing. It is most likely the time that will define our lives and how people will speak of us at our funeral. We may be defined by our vocational success or what we did as a volunteer or how we were as parents or spouses but most of it will happen during these "prime" years.

I think part of the reason that all of this feels so fleeting and unnatural is that it was never meant to be this way. I believe that God has built us for unending life and that sense is built into our DNA that was passed down to us from Adam and Eve. I think we were designed to say "someday I'm going to do that" and in an unfallen world, eventually we would get around to "doing that" and still have the mental and physical capacity to do whatever "that" may be. I don't think that God ever meant for us to have to 'narrow' our possibilities of what we will do with our lives. I also don't believe that God ever meant for us to experience sadness even in the midst of the "prime" of our lives because of the awareness of how fleeting that time is. "Prime" in God's kingdom is an ever-present and everlasting state of being.

The Kingdom Of God is like....A Bob Dylan sing-a-long

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify Your Father which is in heaven." KJV Bible

Recently, I was in Nashville to celebrate my parents' 40th anniversary. While I was there, I had the opportunity to attend a live show with my brother where ten local artist/musicians from the Nashville area (Ten of Tenn) collaborated to create an incredible music experience. It was a beautiful experience because the whole nature of the performance was very much about the songs and not about the individual artists. The ten artists took turns sharing their songs and when they weren't singing their own songs, they would rotate to an instrument and play in the band for another artist. Everybody seemed to be there to share and enjoy each others music for the sake of enjoying music.

After the last song was sung ('Save You' by Matthew Perryman Jones...you must download that song) the whole band came to the front of the stage and chose to end the experience in a very unique way. They all came down into the middle of the audience (it was a bar/music hall so everyone was standing) with their instruments unplugged and began to sing the Bob Dylan tune "I Shall Be Released". As they began to sing, everyone in the room began to sing with them as only a Nashville audience can. The environment in the room became everything that Nashville should be as everyone was simply sharing in the song. I think I may have been one of the only people in the room that didn't know the song and never in my life have I so badly wanted to know the words.

As I have thought about that whole night, I wonder if that may be what our invitation to those outside of God's Kingdom should look like. Maybe our lives are supposed to be like a melody that we are all singing together. A melody that is so sweet and somehow so familiar that it creates an incredible longing inside of those within our song's reach to want to know the words.

Can-Jam and the innerrancy of scripture

There is a game that is very familiar to the Buffalo, NY area known as "Can-Jam". "Can-Jam" is a game invented in Buffalo where a frisbee is thrown back and forth between two plastic cans and the object is to either get the frisbee through a small rectangle in the front of the can or hit the can and/or get the frisbee close enough so that your partner can 'jam' the frisbee into or at the can. It is a very simple but addictive game.

It was through the combination of playing this game (more specifically in retelling the amazing tale of how a particular game of "Can Jam" was won) and a sermon that my pastor gave this past Sunday that I came to a new understanding of what some would call "discrepancies" in scripture especially when it comes to the differing numbers that seem to conflict when two different accounts of the same story are given.

But first let me tale you an amazing tale. On Saturday, a few families were invited over to one of our church family's house to enjoy a great afternoon at their pool. While at this party, the game "Can-Jam" was brought out and the competive spirit quickly manifested itself. Initially, several games were played with several different variations of teams in a round robin type format. With each game, the teams changed players and this went on until dinner was served. But after dinner, four true "Can Jam" loyalists came back for more.

So there we were, myself and Jerry (who is also my pastor) on a team and Brett and Derek (for the protection of their delicate self esteem I'll withold their last names) on a team. The games started out somewhat casual but then a fire of competitive fury broke out that would cause us to play twelve games of "Can Jam" in succession trading leads and refusing to end on a loss. After realizing that we could go on all night, we decided that whoever got to seven wins first would be the winner for the night.

As we began the seventh and final game, it did not look good for Jerry and I. We had lost our dominant form and Derek and Brett quickly took off to a quick and seemingly insurmountable lead of 15 - 6. Because of the nature of "Can Jam" scoring, it would be impossible for Jerry and I to come back unless one of us put a frisbee through the very small rectangle in the front of the can...but that is exactly what Jerry did. Right when it seemed as if there was no hope to come back, Jerry in all of his superior clutchness, put one through the rectangle and won the final game making he and I the "Can Jam" champions for the night.

Here's whats interesting about all of this. In retelling the story, I really don't know if the score was 15 - 6, or 13 - 6, or 18 - 7. I really don't. But is that the point? The point of the whole story is that when the game of "Can Jam" seemed hopeless, Jerry came through on a clutch throw and won the game. Regardless of whether I'm exactly right or not on the score, we were definitely loosing badly. We needed the nearly impossible to happen at that exact time and it did. Would it be wise to totally throw out my whole "Can Jam" story because I couldn't remember the exact score? Does that make that the whole story of Jerry's clutch throw to save the game untrue? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not comparing Jerry's clutch throw to anything miraculous because two other players got it through the rectangle (I being one of them) that same night. What would be wrong is to miss the thrill of a great story because you're so caught up in how impossible, numerically speaking, that the situation was.

I think so many times, the Bible is approached with a filter that is not appropriate for the Bible. In the sermon that Jerry gave on Sunday he talked about the abuse of using the scientific method or a similar approach to critique a book that is by no means meant to be scientific. In many of the biblical cases where the numbers seem to conflict, you can miss the point entirely if you think that the numbers are the point. The point is always God coming through in a situation that seems or is absolutely impossible. The point is that God intervenes on behalf of His people at the very moment when all seems lost and saves the day. The point is God. How tragic it is to be so busy keeping score that you totally miss the point.

Shoes Off

Shoes have an implication of transition and travel. Even my oldest son understood the transitory nature of shoes when he was only two. I had popped my head through through the door into his bedroom to see what he was up to. At the time, I was a new father and ,by nature, a very distracted guy and I was not real good at the whole "daddy" thing yet ( and I still haven't arrived). I was just wanting to check in on him and was probably also trying to relieve a guilty conscience because I hadn't spent a lot of time with him that day. But my little Braden called my bluff. "Daddy, take your shoes off! Sit down and play with me." I can't effectively communicate how those words sounded coming out of a two year olds mouth but in all of their infinite cuteness they struck me with the force of a cuddly sledge hammer. I knew what my boy was saying. He was telling me that a "fly by visit" was not enough and as long as I had my shoes on, I wasn't there to stay. My initial response was to go to my room and weep because he had ripped my heart out with his tender request but instead I did exactly what he asked. I took my shoes off and sat down and played with my son for a long time.

As I have thought about my sons precious words, I think he was speaking a great truth about the time we spend in all of our relationships including our relationship with God. So many times I find my self "popping in" to say hello to God and to relieve a guilty conscience for not having spent more time with Him and during the short time that I am there, I have my "shoes on" as I am thinking about all of the things that I have to do or places I have to be. As a father, I wonder how I would feel if my son treated his time with me the same way that I had treated my time with Him?

I know that God is God but He is also a father who has made himself vulnerable to His children.  In Exodus, God tells Moses to take his shoes off at the burning bush...I wonder if the modern translation of God's words to Moses might sound something like this... "Son, because I'm here, You are in a holy place and a holy moment. Won't you take your shoes off and stay a while? I want to be with you"..

The Kingdom Of God is like.......a kingdom

In staff meeting this past week, my pastor asked us as a staff to answer the question "What is the Gospel?" So we broke into groups and began to really wrestle with that question. In wrestling with that question, I came to a stunning realization about the Kingdom of God. It is like..... a kingdom. I know that that is unbelievably profound and completely original....yeah. But what I realized is that maybe we have really over spiritualized a concept that I don't think Jesus ever meant to be overspiritualized. I think that may be part of the reason that Western Christianity can look really anemic especially when it comes to answering the question "What is the gospel?".

In many ways, the gospel has become a set of beliefs that we acknowledge and agree with and we might even say a specific prayer that states those beliefs. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying here, that prayer and those beliefs are a crucial beginning for many and I don't want to make light of them but also, for many, that's where the journey has stopped and that has led to lives that look nothing like what Jesus said a disciple would looks. So it brings me back to the whole concept of a Kingdom. If we take a more literal look at the concept of Kingdom then it might also give a more wholistic view of the Gospel.

The starting point would be citizenship. In becoming a citizen of a new nation or kingdom, there is a cost to be counted. For instance, in becoming a citizen of the U.S. you would need to agree to not only recieve the inherent rights and freedoms of being a citizen but you would also need to be willing to agree to adhere to the laws and responsibilities that come with citizenship. You are not obeying the laws in order to earn your citizenship, you obey them because when you became a citizen, you knew that it was well worth those responsibilities in order to recieve the freedoms and rights held by a U.S. citizen. That is as far as I'll take that metaphor because there is so much more to the Kingdom of God.

Because of what Christ has done for us on the cross and through His resurrection, the high price for our citizenship has been paid. Christ literally took on the cost of our attrocities and war crimes against Him and His creation when we were citizens of the enemy kingdom and paid for them so that we could enter into a new Kingdom. Not just as citizens but as sons and daughters of the King, literally jumping from the status of enemy of the state to member of the royal family. To recive this citizenship, there is only one narrow door that we must pass through and that is the door of Christ.

Once we pass through that door, the journey has only begun. As sons and daughters of God, we are called to simply look like our Father as we look like His firstborn Son. We have a beautiful responsibility to carry with us the Kingdom of God. We counted the cost and died to our citizenship and our loyalties to the old kingdom because we knew that anything that we let go of there could not even pale in comparison to all that we gained as citizens of the new Kingdom. We don't bear our responsibility to pay for our citizenship. It was far too high a price to pay and only Christ could pay if for us. We bear our responsibilities because we knew that that is what it means to be a citizen of God's Kingdom recieving all of the rights, freedom, and inheritance that is given to a son or daughter of God. We become like Christ because that's just who you are once you enter His Kingdom.

And yet, somehow Christianity often times doesn't look any different than so many of the religious systems of belief that have become the "opiate of the masses" in the fallen kingdom. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's all bad because there are definitely times where I see sparks and glimpses of moments whether its in my own life or through the lives and stories of others where a radiant Kingdom reveals itself and these people show up who act alienly divine (if I can use alienly). Their actions seem to rise above the rhythm of hopelessness and their lives whisper or shout "Its not a fairy tale! There is a place and it is within arms reach where there will be a happy ending because the King is good and you can join His family."

There is a Kingdom that has come and is coming. Maybe we as a church need to reevaluate our naturalization process into this new citizenship so that we can fully know not only the responsibilities and calling to become like the firstborn Son who is just like the Father but also to know all of the incredible freedoms, rights, and inheritance that will be given to all who become sons and daughters of the Most High God and the King of the Great Kingdom..

God's Price of Gas

In our present context of paying ridiculous amounts of money to fill up our gas tanks, the question comes to mind, "who determines how much a gallon of gas is worth?" Honestly, I don't know the answer to that question but I do know that now that I am paying well over four dollars a gallon, I am treating gasoline quite differently. I find myself counting the cost of every mile that I may have to drive. I also find myself making only necessary trips and trying to combine several errands into one trip when possible. So for me, gas has become valuable not because of what I think it's worth. It's become valuable because of what I've had to pay to get it.

This way of valuing things showed up today in a passage of scripture that I was reading. In Chronicles 11:18-19, a canteen of water goes from being a very ordinary commodity (much like gas) to having a value beyond measure. In the story, King David is encamped in a cave and between He and the closest source of water is the Phillistine army. David makes the statement "Oh, that someone would get me a drink from the well near the gate of Bethlehem". Immediately, three of his men take off, break through the Phillistine lines, get the water and bring it back to David. I'm sure there is much more to the story but the passage does not give the details of this very dangerous errand. I would imagine that the men did experience a violent encounter both when they broke through the Phillistine line and in returning through that line to get back. I would also think that that encounter did not come without some injury. All that we know comes from David's response when he recieves the water.....he pours it on the ground. Yep, that's right, he poured it on the ground. And the amazing thing is, none of the three mighty men punch him in the face. How could these men not be totally offended?
The question is answered when David tells why he refused to drink the water. "God forbid that I should do this! (drink the water)". "Should I drink the blood of these men who went at the risk of their own lives?". The Bible says that when David poured the water out, he poured it out before the Lord.
Basically, what David was saying was this, "Because of the risk and the sacrifice that you spent to get this water, it has become something so precious that only God is worthy of it!". The men then knew that their valiant act of humble service had just become a precious offering before the God of the universe.

What I love about this passage is that we have the same opportunity with all of the common things in our lives. We have the same opportunity to take the common tasks that we've been given and by pouring ourselves wholeheartedly into them whether that be to teach children in sunday school, lead songs in church, feed the poor, look after an elderly neighbor or whatever your specific task is, we can make those common things a precious offering before God. Or if we wanted to carry out this passage in a more literal way, you could go to the gas station, put the same amount that you would to fill up your car into several gas containers and then go out into a field and pour them out as an offering before the Lord....my guess, though, would be that God would prefer that you pour yourself into whatever God has called you to because that's worth far more than $4.20 a gallon.

Worship

During our staff meeting today, my pastor introduced a thought based on some things that he had been chewing on and things he had been reading that sent me down one of my Attention Deficit Disorder DayDream Adventures (A.D.D.D.D.A.). He was sharing from Revelation 4-5 and he was specifically talking about worship and why it's relevant (as a worship guy, you always love to see your pastor place a high priority on worship). He was talking about the scene in Revelation and how in seeing God, we will not need to be ordered or obligated to worship but instead, we will not be able to help ourselves. He gave the illustration of attending the Johnny Lang concert (that my wife and I attended with him) and how we found ourselves slapping and hitting each other in total disbelief of the total carnage that Lang was laying down during a seven minute unbelievably gratuitous guitar solo. You couldn't help but shout or just stand there making uncomprehendable utterances because there were no words to explain what you were seeing and feeling. As I thought about this, I had another image come it my mind. I remembered back to one of the past olympic games where the long distance runner from England (I think) was coming to the end of the race and during the last quarter mile, the cramping in his legs over came him and his body shut down and he was driven to his hands and knees. It was a tragic sight to see a lifetime of dreaming and training seem to become all for naught as he was not going to be able finish his race. But then his dad came running out on to the track and picked his son up and helped (carried) his boy finish the race. I remember watching that moment and being overwhelmed with tearfilled joy. There was something about that moment that resonated with the deepest part of my soul because everything about it was right and good. I wanted to shout and jump around my den (to my loss, I didn't) because my soul had witnessed something that was eternally right.
I really think that that is how it is going to be when we see God. We will be coming from a world where we have seen parents bury their children and unbelievable cruelty carried out against the innocent. We will have come from a place where we are used to dissappointment and deceit. We will have come from a land where finding goodness and truth were like mining for gold in caves and tunnels that have long been mined barren.
And then we will walk in to the throne room and we'll see God. Our souls will feel the sense and security of being home in a way that is familiar but so deep and profound that the intensity of that feeling will be unfamiliar. Our hearts will explode inside of us because for the first time in our lives we will see what (or who) perfect justice looks like. We will weep as we see the Son sitting by the Father and we remember the saga of their seperation but we now get to experience the ecstacy of their reunion. And at seeing that, we'll realize that we are now in a place where fathers are not seperated from their children and parents will never again have to bury their children and the callouses on our hearts that have come from living with the constancy of death will fall away as our minds are re-alligned to living in a reality where death is no longer...
I suspect that wave upon wave of emotions will surge through us. Emotions of unrestrained gratitude, levels of joy that were never known on earth will errupt from within us, and shouts will pour out of us as we experience a reality of freedom never before experienced on earth (though longed for in the deepest recesses of our souls). That gnawing sense on earth that told us that things were not as they should be will finally be confirmed and fulfilled as we finally see all made right. And our response will be worship. All of our focus will be on the One who made it all possible and with every expression that comes out of us, we will worship.

Songs and Secrets

As a worship leader, there are days where I kind of step away from the whole worship music thing and when I look at it, it all seems really weird. I start asking questions like "why do we do this?" "Why is music an important part of worship?" "What is the relevance of singing in worship?" In asking these questions, I have developed a sensitivity to any passage of scripture that deals with worship, and as I was reading Psalm 32, a certain passage grabbed my attention.

In Psalm 32:11 the psalmist writes "Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart". It's that last phrase that got me. There seems to be a qualifier. This theme is echoed in the first verse of the next psalm where it states "sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise Him". There seems to be a connection here between being upright in heart and singing. I know that when I feel like I can stand before God and others with a clear conscience, I feel very carefree. It doesn't necessarily mean that I haven't sinned as much as it means that I have no secrets before God or others about my sin. It means that there's nothing in my heart that is constantly burdened with the thought of being "found out" or "exposed". It's hard to sing when you're constantly looking over your shoulder (plus it's really hard to see the power point screen). I remember what it's like to confess my sins to God or to others that I had sinned against and I also remember the incredible feeling that comes after that confession and I must admit...you kinda feel like singing in that moment.

So maybe thats part of the whole singing thing in worship. It's more of a symptom of where we are before God than it is an end in itself. Singing might just be one of God's ways of allowing us to remain childlike and the times where we find it difficult to sing may be there to serve as a wake up call to examine our hearts and see what's inside.... And once you come clean before God and anyone else that you have wronged, you might find yourself singing. And Psalm 32:11 may read more like "if you have no secrets.....you'll sing."

One Way Mirror

Lately, in a lot of what I'm reading and hearing from my pastor, a certain quote from Jesus has consistently been mentioned and explained. I have heard it explained that when Jesus said " the kingdom of God is at hand" it can be translated as the Kingdom of God being at arms length. Last Sunday, in my pastor's sermon, he mentioned the story of Stephen and, specifically, the part where Stephen said, "I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God". I have always pictured that scene in my head where a little circle opens up in the sky and it's as if Stephen is able to view heaven in the same way you might look into a house far away on a hill through a bay window. But as I began to think of this scene in the context of the Kingdom of Heaven being at arms length, a totally different picture emerged in my head. I think of one of those mirrors that you see in the police station in movies all the time where the person in the interregation room can only see a mirror but on the other side of the mirror, other people are able to look in on the occupant of the room. But the mirror I'm picturing is way bigger, like a one way mirror that encompasses the entire sky...and when Stephen was allowed to look into heaven, it was as if someone had flipped on the light switch on the other side of the mirror and there right in front of Stephen was a sweeping, breathtaking view of the throne room of God Almighty that filled up the entire breadth of the sky...and at that moment where Stephen could have easily felt the loneliest, he was given the opportunity to see just how close Jesus really was in the midst of the horror of being stoned to death...and then to not only see the proximity of Jesus but then to see Jesus stand at the right hand of the Father as if to honor Stephen in the presence of the Father and the millions of others there in the courts of Heaven..it must have brought Stephen incredible comfort in his last few seconds to know just how close the Kingdom of God was...

aliens and strangers

Last Sunday, as my pastor was preaching, i began to chew on something in particular that he was preaching on. he talked about how so often, we as believers can mistakingly focus on someday leaving earth and going on to heaven. This line of thinking isn't exactly biblically correct. Based on scripture, it's not like God is going to blow up everything and start over. When scripture speaks of a "new heaven" and a "new earth" it is more referring to an earth and a heaven made new, or restored back to God's initial intent. So maybe we don't need to be so focused on getting off the earth. I resonated greatly with this message but my mind (as it is prone to do) began to wonder to the verses where we as believers are described as "aliens and strangers" in this world. So if this is our home, or at least it will be when we take our place on the "new earth", then how are we also aliens and strangers here.... then it came to me, its the same way that Nashville is no longer home to me. Although my wife and I were both raised in the Nashville area, we have not lived there for ten years now and a lot has happened since we called it our home. Buildings have been built, and buildings have been torn down. People that we knew there have moved away and many new people have moved in. I couldn't even find my way around my college campus because of all of the new growth there. When I am there, nobody is where they are supposed to be on a Friday night. The party crowd is not hanging out in the United Methodist parking lot, none of the people that I went to school with are at the High School football game, nobody knows that I was the Sr. class president (not that anybody cared then either), or that I used to sing "Mac The Knife" at just about every talent show I sang in (sad but true..) maybe that's what made it home...it's when people know you. When people know what you're about and what's important to you.. and then my mind goes to Jesus. What was it like to walk around Nazareth or Jerusalem and not be known...what was it like to have been there at creation and see the earth in it's pristine beauty and then to walk in it thousands of years later after sin had had generation after generation to devolve and deform all of creation...how sad was it to walk among the people that he had created and be a total stranger. I think when Jesus said, "this is not our home (anymore), we're just aliens and strangers here," it had to be with tears of deep sorrow and sadness that his disciples couldn't possibly understand...

Global Warming or Warning

I have a thought that has been rolling around in my head for some time. I live in Buffalo, NY where we experience some fairly extreme weather. The crazy thing is that it seems like the weather has been more extreme in every other part of the country than it has been where the weather is supposed to be extreme. So, here's my thought...up until the last decade, weather extremes have historically often caused the question..."is God trying to get our attention?" or maybe a variation of the question would be "are these weather anomalies a sign of the end times?"...now the problem that has come out of these questions in the past is that too many people have predicted that they were living in end times and when the rapture or any other major apocyliptical event did not happen, it was one more blow to those that raise that type of question..I am not so much interpreting our weather conditions as a sign of the times as I am that global warming has really caused the end times questions to almost vanish..to take this thought a little further, I think it is very realistic to speculate that as more and more people beging to accept the global warming argument, people will become less and less alarmed no matter how severe, extreme, or exceptional the weather conditions.....so as droughts, famines, earthquakes, tsunami's and the like speed up in frequency, people will stop even wondering if these are the "birth pains" that Jesus predicted in scripture....they'll just attribute it to global warming.. don't get me wrong, I have no doubt that we have truly jacked up the environment that God made us stewards over and most of the things that harm the environment have been things that we have created out of sinful motives driven by greed, convenience, and laziness. As believers we should be on the front lines of environmental stewardship......but, I am also concerned that there is something else at work here that could easily facilitate an environment where life is going on as usual even as God is litrally shouting through nature to get our attention.